retraction

Attn: the last post was meant to sound like an authentic criticism of the films reviewed, but instead came off as snide and offensive to the films in question. I am truly sorry. I enjoyed the films, especially the axe wielding John Malkovich.

generalities and Penelope Cruz

Two days and two movies. I know there are those of you out there who love Scarlett and there are those of you who love The Coen Brothers Assoc. I too love...mostly love what the Coens do. There are a couple decent movies out that deserve a little merit, dialogue merit, character merit, but I am going to have to say that they are overall unappeasable, and leave a sort of longing for...for maybe what has regrettably come and gone or what the film has shown and in a sense attempts to hustle the audience somewhere it doesnt want to go.

Vicky Christina Barcelona and Burn After Reading do not stop to smell the roses, those moments that come to very few and in very rare instances that every piece of the puzzle just fits. They whirl and swirl you back to a place that you know. A place you arent particularly fond of, but I really enjoyed both of these movies. 

Now let me explain myself. Burn After Reading was hilarious. The story was all over the place and there was so much going on that it was swirl, twist, spin almost the whole film. The Coen brothers are talented, but they seemed to leave out a key ingredient that is so common in most of their films: smarts. Now maybe I am too dumb to see them, but this film feels hollow. It was made beautifully, the dialogue and characters are as strong as any Coen film, it proves that they are genre dynamic writers/directors, and really gets us nowheres. Vanity, deception, betrayal, or maybe the Coens mocking themselves, it really isnt that memorable. I walked out of the movie laughing, but now I can only remember a handful of parts/lines/scenes. Another story where everything according to the plan, as bumbled and disfunctional as it is, goes awry, and I think I saw this in their first...wait, every one. The disfunction is part of every story, but after watching this one I think they are using a formula, like in those crappy high school algebra classes to figure out the answer to x. Malkovich and Pitt killed it. My favorite was definitely John though. 

Vicky Christina Barcelona was a classic Allen piece. Everyone is narcissistic and explorative of their own beliefs, and the dialogue is amazing and witty and everything I wish I could write. The show stealer was Cruz. After she makes her entrance, I didnt care about anything else. I loved her character. So inspired. I hate how Allen contrasts the American way of life to "everywhere else." Doug (the husband) is really an amazing guy. Very romantic, studious, hard working, smart, rich, and dedicated...I would say he is less normal and robotic as the movie portrays, but because he is cast in direct opposition to "the Spaniard" he seems uniform. Its BS. I really hated that fact, but it was funny enough, and the narration was an obvious gross exaggeration of how each of us would like to be this perfect person that we arent. 

So both films were good for a laugh and a thought that comes no more than 24 hours after leaving the theater, and sticks with you no more than a couple days. 

Back, back, and forth, forth

A new Ford Fiesta that gets 65 mpg is being released in Europe and not in the US. The original article is talking about creating clean diesel engines. How efficient a diesel engine can be and how clean it can be, but the US doesnt have a market for it. Nobody wants to buy diesel because its more heavily taxed than regular gas, and the US sees it as an archaic fuel source. "Hybrid is king" in the US. I say good. I hope the US sees any petrol fuel as archaic. Why would we build another gas engine? So big oil can keep sucking us dry? Little by little? Scrap gasoline cars and gasoline hybrids and create a truly clean efficient engine. Its going to be back and forth like this.

I mean we are on the brink of a movement towards an alternate fuel source as a major contributor in our everyday lives, but they are going to thwart that. There are plans on releasing it in 2010, just when we will be sick of paying so much for gas, they will bump the mpg's up. Razzle-dazzle. We are slaves to oil companies. Well why dont they give us the car now? The article lists a shit load of bogus reasons.

I know I may sound like a crazy liberal, but think about it man. Inward singing. It will revolutionize how much we can rock. Before, rockers were only rockin us half the time man...the other half they were breathing!

check out the article here.

Magnum P.I.

This post is a little different than most. Its downloadable. I started a book, this was a couple years ago, but the book was titled "Where has baseball gone?". It is a stretch comparison criticism book that tries to persuade the reader of some complex underlying connection between the decline in baseball viewing and the decline in the American society. The problem is that its a confined piece. Its confined to the era that I was writing it. I think it was a good idea. It could definitely be modernized and published still. If one of the three people who still read this blog decide to take the idea and capitalize, I just ask that you reference me somehow...something like, based on an idea from croonies.com or something provocative like that.

If nobody wants it then you can read the jumbled thoughts and maybe leave a comment telling me how ridiculously ingenious the idea is and that you know someone who is willing to publish me based on the snippet you see here.

WherehasBaseballgone.pdf

The fall

The fall of man is technology. As I was watching TV the other day (believe it or not I havent watched TV since a couple of days ago), the history channel or some science channel, the topic at hand was time travel. Its great to think of time travel being possible, but most people are pursuing it to get rich somehow. Lotto, stocks, markets, sports, gambling, cures, inventions, whatever it is, and however much they claim it would help society, it wont. Its a scam to waste money on a one way ticket out of someone's horrible life.

I dont believe in time travel no matter what the Doc says about flux capacitors or space time continuum or any of that nonsense. We are staying right here.

Okay. The DeLorean was pretty freakin sweet.

Junkie

I want so badly to believe that there is truth, that love is real
And I want life in every word to the extent that its absurd
I know youre wise beyond your years, but do you ever get the fear
That your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?
-"Clark Gable", The Postal Service

We just got cable. But its not the new all digital with over 100 HD channels, and 15 sports channels...nope, its the old school cable. Not as low as basic, but not as great as satellite. So its been a long time since Ive had cable. When I say a long time I mean its been like years. Everybody goes through the no cable stint. As a child we rarely had cable, unless one of us jimmied the filters and spliced it. But today I sat inside and watched TV. I made up for all that lost time. Now my brain is mush and my eyes are worse. My creative juices have been sucked and I am a lost soul. TV is as bad as any drug. It could kill you just the first time watching it. In fact I was reading about a child who was killed by watching TV. He overdosed. It was in Otter Tail county Minnesota. True story. Of course there arent nearly as many people dying from watching TV as there were children dying during the dirty 30's of pneumonia or whooping cough or plain suffocation.

I rode the euphoric explosion of wealth of knowledge, sports scores, movies, modern marvels, deadly catches, a palette medley, and many other intriguing areas of interest. But alas, the post high paranoia and the munchies at late hours of the night. I got the tunnel vision and increased emotional sensitivity followed by a bellowing crash and burn. It was such a wild ride, but Im afraid Im done dancing with the devil in the pale moon light, Im going to go read a book.

BBLIFF

Big Bear Lake International Film Festival is the kind of festival that I like. It was small. It was in two theaters in the Big Bear Lake area and it was pure. I had the opportunity to see a truly independent film. The kind that you watch and never really expected to see. The lighting was bad, the music sucked beyond belief, but it was pure in its simplicity and its ability to tell a story. It was a movie that you see crappy film students make, but it was in the festival because of its story.

The festival featured student films, documentaries, production films, independent films, and even panel discussions with industry veterans. It was a four day event that wrapped with an awards ceremony and an after-party. The last day was a pitching do's and dont's panel. I was only able to catch one film, but I was captivated by the ambiance. The relaxed attitudes of the staff and filmmakers alike. Everyone was a film enthusiast and that's where the line was drawn. There was no politics, red carpet, bouncers, or photo shoots. The Q&A's were personal. I was one of three people talking to the crew that put one particular film together. It was a better hope of festivals.

The movie is called Remembering Phil. Its about a guy who arrives in the airport from a two week vacation, and finds that nobody remembers who he is. There are no records to prove his existence and he battles with the powers that be to reclaim his identity. It turns out that he has slowly compromised his dreams, ideals, and goals over the years working for "the man" and in turn became a nobody. At least he has nothing to make an impression. He constantly put off his aspirations to produce mediocre garbage. He is met by a stranger who walks him through his present life, and the deeper they go into what he has become, the more he discovers he is nothing. It was written by Michael Katz (greenie) and directed by Brian J Smith (first time director/producer of nothing notable), but this team was like a couple of high school kids having fun. The director understood the writers vision, but they just didnt have the funding to pull it off. You can tell that corners were definitely cut, but they kept what was most important...the story. There were some corny digital effects at the end of the film, but it definitely got the message across. I enjoyed the film thoroughly. And I can relate. I think we can all relate to the message of the film.

The BBLIFF is exactly the type of festival I love to attend. The festival presented a special lifetime award to the cinematographer Janusz Kaminski (check out his resume here, its pretty impressive) and showed one of his films, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.

These are the types of little film festivals that Im submitting my films, screw Retard Redford and his capitalist swine. Its go time.

101 damnations

For our celebratory 101st post we have a special treat for everyone. Its a video. Its about the best drummer ever. Its more of the guy self promoting himself. I dont know where I find this stuff, but this dude is roided out and has a serious complex. His dong is so small in a speedo that he has to jam a nerf football in there. Its great though.

Its on YouTube and its brought to you here first...The debut of the Best Drummer Ever!

corrosion

I just got done reading the book "See No Evil" by Robert Baer. You should read it if you want to hate the daunting forces in Washington. The hypocrisy. The capitalism.

Its a very encouraging book. It encourages one to give up. It encourages one to leave the country and not turn back. Now corruption is found everywhere, and everyone is trying to make a buck and politics is a profession as deceptive and devious as smuggling, embezzling, and prostitution rolled into one, but doesnt quite make as much money.

It reminds me of an old pickup truck on one of those old farms as you drive across the middle of the country on some barren back highway. You have been driving for hours and there is nothing to see on the road and the horizon is flat with no trees in site, when you come upon an old homestead. About a hundred feet from the house, or on the edge of the immediate property sits and old rust bucket with weeds and tall amber grasses tickling its every side. Its falling apart. Sometimes there are fenders missing, or were sold off for scrap. The tires, which you cant even see, are flat. This truck has not moved for years. It was once a brand new cherry of a truck, now its just a nuisance. The motor is a solid block of rust. The owner had once hoped to restore it to its original mint condition, but it was too far gone. It would take too much, besides, he doesnt even know that much about fixing cars, he just knows how to run one.

Oh the humanity.